Title: Stay Away From the Glass: Tales of Petty Crime and Self-Punishment
Author: sodiumbisulfite
Crossover Fandoms: Arrested Development, Batman.
Pairing: House/Wilson, House/Gob Bluth, House/Bruce Wayne, Wilson/Joker
Rating: NC-17
Length: 21 700 words
Spoilers: No specific timeline for any. Batman is a mix of comic!verse & Nolan!verse.
Summary: It's a crazy world out there, and unfortunately Wilson's about to get shoved right into the middle of it.
Excerpt:

After his long winded speech, Wilson took his seat next to House and slowly drummed his fingers against the table.

"So," he said after a few moments hesitation, "I didn't realize that you and this Mr. Wayne knew each other?"

House reached for his glass of Scotch, and finished it off in one gulp. "I hardly remember him."

Wilson raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I believe you."

"And I'm not sure that I care what you believe." House reached forward for the carafe of Scotch, topping off his glass, almost emptying the carafe.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"The more you talk, the more I drink." House raised his glass to Wilson, and took a long sip. "My fate is in your hands."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Are you ready to go?"

House widened his eyes. "What? No. There's a magician."

"Yeah...for the kids."

"Well I'm just a kid trapped in a man's body. Same difference."

"No, you're not. You're just drunk. Big difference."

"Shhhhhh!" House put a wavy finger in front of his lips. "It's starting."

Wilson sighed, and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms.

He watched as Cuddy introduced "A Magician named Gob." Wilson could tell by the look on her face, that she too, had no idea what kind of a name that was. She stepped off to the side of the stage as all of the lights in the ballroom went out.

Wilson had a feeling that they were in trouble. "What kind of magician performs in the dark?" he whispered.

"The talented kind, obviously."

Wilson wasn't so sure.

Wilson is jealous of House's new boyfriend. The story starts out as simple as that, but after Wilson gets transfered to Gotham City, he meets the infamous Joker. And after that, things start to spin wildly out of control. In Stay Away From The Glass, sodiumbisulfite crafts a dark, surreal story about jealousy and revenge. In this story, she takes on four completely different fandoms and weaves together characters from each of them to form a coherent whole. All her characters are deeply, humanly flawed, and the Joker is especially a terrifying, unknowable menace. This is not a story for the faint of heart, but those who are willing to take the chance will be greatly rewarded.


by beeinmybonnet
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by thedeadparrot
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